Hyper Parenting.com – the Over-Scheduled Child

Linked on our blogs with Helicopter Parents.com – the Over-Scheduled Child.

Limit Activities: Think long and hard before signing up for new activities. Some families make firm rules (such as, one sport per child per season) while others make decisions on a case-by-case basis. But if you say yes to too many enrichment opportunities, the whole family will pay the price. Weigh the benefits of participation against the cost – time, energy, logistical effort, stress, and expense – to you, your child, and the rest of the family … (How To Avoid the Hyper-Parenting Trap 1/2).

All pages of this website have the same URL. Internal Linksin the left column: Homepage, 12 Ways To Avoid the Hyper-Parenting Trap, The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap, Order the Book, Reviews, About the Authors, Other Resources, Contact the Authors … except National Family Night.

How To Avoid the Hyper-Parenting Trap 2/2: … Develop Healthy Skepticism: Be discriminating about the advice you pay attention to. Experts should help alleviate stress, not add unnecessary anxiety to an already overloaded life.

It makes sense to follow time-tested advice on how to childproof your home, say; it makes less sense to alter your family’s diet dramatically in response to the latest study that promises some purported benefit, but will likely be contradicted and replaced by other findings in the near future. There are trends and styles in science, health, nutrition and education, just as there are fads in fashion and home design. One year we are encouraged to limit fat in a child’s diet, the next we are warned that doing so may be harmful; two years later, studies come out announcing that, in fact, it is okay to restrict fat intake in small children. Who knows the truth? In most cases, moderation and good judgment are the best standards.

Give Yourself a Break:

Your family life is meant to be your own creation, an ever-changing dance between you, your children, your spouse, your family and friends, and the community at large. Do it your way. You only get one chance. The next time you experience it, you will be watching your children being parents. So embrace the uncertainty, enjoy the new dance steps, and know that because you are trying hard, because you are an individual, and this has never been done quite this way before, you will feel awkward at times. That’s the human condition – it’s normal, and it is fine … //

… Be Unproductive:

A life that consists of endless activities demonstrates to our children that we expect them to be hyper-active workaholics who run from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. with no rest. It tells them they need to work hard at polishing and perfecting themselves, and says implicitly that we don’t believe they are “good enough” as they are. It is good for families to spend unproductive time together – shooting hoops, taking walks, playing games, sitting and talking, reading. The fact that you, the parent, enjoy spending time with your child with no apparent goal lets her know you find her more interesting than just about anything else in the world – nothing that will bolster her self-esteem more effectively.

Childhood is a Preparation, Not a Performance:

No one ought to be on stage all the time, not adults and certainly not children! Kids should not be judged on every aspect of their performance in life – it puts too much pressure on them, and too much pressure on us. By definition, children are immature and should not be expected to perform to adult standards. Resist the pressure from coaches, and the media, that tells you how to push your child to excel early …

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